SAADS Ch.4 - The Truth

Chapter 4 - The Truth

 Lying here in bed, I wonder if I should’ve come clean to someone sooner. The “talk” wasn’t so bad I guess… He’d used his steak knife on me in the end; cut into my arms and let the blood run down like red sleeves. Terra had really done a number on me this time – after cutting my arms he’d pushed me onto the floor, straddled me and cut into my chest and back. It had left deep gashes all over me and I was sure bruises were forming from where I’d struggled. It’s amazing what you get used to. I stared up at my ceiling and sighed, my mind starting to drift to what I should do by way of covering up again – long sleeves I suppose, but then again summer was fast approaching now so I couldn’t wear them for long. I started thinking about what the others would do if they found out. Would they fuss? Would they get angry? And then even worse, what would Axel think? I shuddered at the idea and rolled onto my side, quickly regretting it and turning back onto my back again. The most important question in the end wouldn’t leave me alone: Would Axel still like me?

 Another sleepless night led to a sore and painful morning. I groaned and sat up, having given up on sleep by now and just decided to go to work early again instead. I looked around for the nearest clothing and caught myself in the mirror as I walked past; I looked terrible. My chest was even more covered in marks and bruises than I thought. There were two big purple bruises on my hips where I’d squirmed under his legs, as well as my wrists where he gripped them too tightly in an attempt to hold me down. The cuts were jagged in some places and deep in others, criss-crossing along my body. The wound from the bottle incident on my arm was still very prominent on my pale skin, though admittedly healing. My arms were still red, but dry seeing as I hadn’t bothered to wash off the blood last night and my eyes had dark circles under them, almost like bruises. My hair had lost some of its usual bounce and spikiness, even as I ran my hand through it. I sighed heavily before pulling on my long-sleeved shirt and then my other work clothes. By the time I’d left, I still had an hour to get to work, but I drove quickly anyway – the sooner I was away from him the better.

 Marluxia smiled at me as I pulled in, used to seeing me arrive so early these days, and unlocked the doors. He didn’t say anything about my ragged appearance, but I knew he was displeased. There was an air about him that just screamed I was in trouble. When the others arrived, they had the same reaction and I couldn’t shake the feeling they were boring holes into the back of my head with their eyes when I wasn’t looking. The day continued like this until lunch time. I was restocking the seeds at the back of the store when suddenly Axel grabbed my upper arm and dragged me to the staff room at the back, causing me to wince at the sudden pain that coursed up my arm. Effectively throwing me onto the couch, he stood with his shoulder leaning on the wall and his arms folded. Marluxia was next to him with his hands on his hips, Riku and Kairi were on the other side, frowning deeply, and Sora and Demyx were sitting with me; Demyx on my left and Sora kneeling on the floor in front. “Er guys…”
“Shirt. Off. Now.” Axel almost growled. I panicked a little, but tried to not let it show.
“This isn’t a strip club Axel, it’s a garden centr-”
“WE’RE NOT PLAYING GAMES HERE.” Marluxia yelled, making me jerk back in shock; he never raised his voice, certainly not to his own employees. I looked around at them all again then, seeing they weren’t gonna let me get out of this, sighed in defeat.
“Fine, on your own heads be it…” Slowly, I pulled off both my shirt and my undershirt, only to receive the exact responses I was expecting. Kairi, Sora and Demyx teared up instantly (the former with her hands covering her mouth), though Demyx hid it better. Riku muttered a “fuck…” and Marluxia gasped, taking a step towards me. Axel though, I wasn’t expecting his reaction at all. His nose crinkled and he frowned, before turning and quietly saying “disgusting…” before he left the room. I dropped my head, tears forming at the mere thought that he felt that way. The one guy I thought would help me and he thought my mere appearance was vile. Demyx got up and chased after him, leaving just four of us behind. Kairi broke out of her almost trance-like state in the end and walked to the sink, getting a cloth wet with warm water before sitting next to me and started to wipe the blood away. A small smile graced my face at her mother hen tendencies, only to hiss when she dabbed too hard on my cuts.

“Roxas. The actual Hell?” Was all Riku said. I looked up at him, then down again and into Sora’s eyes. They were even worse than the silverette’s glare; the blue, innocent ovals stared into mine, as if searching for an answer with tears threatening to stream down his face. His eyes looked so much like mine and Ven’s that it almost made me want to cry even more because all I could see was my brother. “Who did this Roxas?” I shook my head. Riku growled and left the room as well, Sora running after him. Whether he was unable to stand the sight of me, or wanted to check Riku was okay I don’t know, and to be honest I didn’t care. Marluxia ran a hand through his hair and took Sora’s place in front of me, resting his hands on my knees as Kairi continued to silently clean me.
“Darlin, you need to tell us who did this.”
“I can’t…” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. He looked confused.
“Why?” My mind wandered back to what Terra had said the other night and it made me shiver. It was that thought that made me look up at the door, as if I could see Axel through it. Thinking about it, if he really hated me that much now was there any reason I should protect him? I smiled to myself; of course there was – I still loved him. The pinkette followed my gaze and sighed. “Give him time Rox… It’s not a pretty sight and he cares a lot about you, more than the rest of us I think…”
“He hates me.”
“Oh please,” Kairi started, contributing for the first time since I was dragged in here. “I don’t think hate is even part of his vocabulary when it comes to you.” I smiled a little. That decided it then: I wasn’t going to tell them. If they cared so much about me, even after seeing all this, I couldn't risk Terra hurting them just because I selfishly wanted some sympathy. Marluxia seemed to understand my decision and stood up.
“Right, I know how to solve this.” With that, he was gone, leaving me and Kairi in a comfortable silence.

 I liked Kairi; she was kind and caring, always knew the right thing to say. It was as if her heart was made from pure light. She moved from my arms and started dabbing at my back with the cloth.
“Thanks…”
“Don’t mention it.” She stopped for a moment and I felt her clench the cloth tightly before carrying on. “Have you any idea how much you’re worrying us Roxas? I mean, look at you…” She wasn’t saying it harshly, her voice was soft even, but I knew there was a serious and heavy undertone to her words. “You’ve come in so many days now either limping or wincing at physical labour, and yet you insist nothing’s wrong. These cuts aren’t ‘nothing’.” Then she grabbed my wrist, turning it to see the long gash. “That isn’t ‘nothing’.” Before she could continue, Axel was pushed through the door and looked over at us. He refused to talk though and as soon as our eyes met, he looked away again. After about five minutes of silence, Kairi growled and stood up, walked over and thrust the cloth into his hand. “Talk to him. For God’s sake help him, and stop looking like you want to run away screaming.” That said, she left the room. The redhead left behind just cleared his throat before slowly approaching me.
“Let me see…” I turned so he could clean my back from a better angle, but remained mute. Luckily for me, he couldn’t see the tears trickling down. “Rox I… Hell, m’sorry Rox. I shouldn’t have stormed off like that when you needed your friend the most.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t talking about you by the way… Marly made me realise what that sounded like… I just couldn’t believe someone could hurt you like that. …Turn around for me.” I did as he asked so he could start cleaning my chest. “Can you tell me at least?”
“You’re the last person I’d tell…” Which was true - out of everyone here, he's the one I'd hate to see hurt the most. He stayed silent for a long time, and it was filled with awkwardness. I couldn’t bear it. “I can’t tell anyone, okay? I mean… I’m not allowed…”

 Well, that didn’t exactly come out in a reassuring way. He stopped cleaning my chest, looking up at me with a fire in his eyes, the likes of which I’d never seen on his features before. “You mean to tell me someone out there really is hurting you and they threatened you into silence?” I shook my head.
“Not me… they threatened someone I care about, a lot. In fact, the one I never want to see me as anything but good. I was pretty sure he’d hate me if I told him the truth…”
“Him, huh? Well, I had my suspicions Roxy; glad to know we’re on the same team.” He winked at me, making me blush a little. “Listen, I don’t know about this other guy, but I would never think of you as anything but good. I don’t think there’s anything in you that could be bad… You’re too perfect…” Tears were starting to roll down my cheeks faster now. He was wrong, he was so wrong about me – I wasn’t perfect, and I certainly wasn’t innocent. I’d been through more in my life than he’d ever be. He put the cloth to the side for the moment, instead cupping my cheeks and rubbing the tears away. “Listen, the longer you stay quiet about this, the worse it’ll get. I don’t want anything to happen to you Rox. So please, please tell me why you look like you’ve been practising with throwing knives in the mirror.” I rested my hand against one of his, sniffling a little. I suppose I didn’t have to tell him everything, the bare minimum would do for now. Besides, he just told me he could never think ill of me, right?
“I… My brother’s away right now and… Well, I live with him and his husband. My brother-in-law isn’t taking the separation all that well… He… He thinks it’s my fault Ven’s gone.”
“So he hurts you?” I nodded, crying full on by now. “Anything else?” I dropped my hand, looking down, but he lifted me back up again with his hands still on my face. “Roxas I need you to tell me…” I shook my head, unable to get the words out. What if he really did think me disgusting? What if I told him and he saw me as nothing more than the manwhore I’d become? While I stayed silent, well not talking at least, he seemed to slowly be piecing it together. “You… Your limp…” He pulled away from me instantly, getting off the couch and backing away. “He doesn’t… Roxas tell me he doesn’t…” I just hugged myself, bringing my legs up and burying my head in my knees. Axel’s hand flew to his mouth, distress evident on his face and he ran out of the room again. I just cried harder, now completely alone. The tears didn’t stop falling and I was shaking so much by now.

 Marluxia stormed in with him though in a couple of minutes and locked the door behind him. Axel instantly gathered me up in his arms and started rocking, running his hand through my hair. “We have to do something Marluxia…”
“It’s up to Roxas to do something about this Axel… We can’t do anything unless Roxas tells us what exactly is going on.” I spent the rest of the afternoon in there with the two of them, talking about what I should do if I refused to give them the full story. In the end, they gave me two options: go to the police, or confront Terra. At closing time, I slunk out and pulled my riding gear on, about to pull on my helmet when Axel came over to me.
“Hey… I er, I just wanted to say… I didn’t tell him, about your brother or his husband I mean; I just said a relative was abusing you. I won’t tell any of them if you don’t want me to.”
“Thanks Axel…”
“You realise there’s something else you could do, right?” I tilted my head in confusion, so he elaborated. “You could talk to your brother.” My eyes widened. “I know it’s a scary move, but don’t you think he should know what his husband is doing to you?” I sighed, he was right. Ven probably wouldn’t take it well though  - he was unstable as it was. Not that Axel knew that, but even so. I nodded and pulled my helmet on.
“I’ll think about it.” He smiled and, seemingly satisfied, walked away. “Axel?” He turned to me and I smiled. “That guy? The one he threatened?” The redhead nodded. “You know him…”
“Is it Demyx?” I laughed, hard.
“No... He’s not my type.” Axel laughed at that too.
“Yeah… fair does… so who is he?”
“Go home, you’ll figure it out soon enough.” I winked, then pulled my visor down and sped off, leaving a very dumfounded Axel in my wake.